Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Into the Unknown

6 months of job hunting has finally gone past. I just thank God for endlessly sending people my way, to encourage me and spur me on. Finally, i've got a job. And guess what? I'm starting it tomorrow. AH!!! I have no idea if i should be happy or sad....just feeling horribly nervous. I've never worked before in my life, so this jittery feeling never fails to haunt me. It's amazing how this job was given to me, i'm just thanking God that everything has fallen into place. Whatever i wanted and prayed for in my job was a prayer answered.

1) Near to my home
2) Good working environment
3) International Company where i could use japanese

It's a miracle indeed. Just a few days ago, i thank God i was able to spend my last few days of "freedom" with Chisako san. Although we did our usual walking, it was a familiar feeling...And i'm so thankful to God for friends like her, Claire Jie, Ran, Gerber, Ryosuke and many others who have never failed to encourage me during periods of trials..:] Not 2 forget, i thank God especially for my family who have never failed to encourage, admonish and cheer me on in anything and everything i did. Hope that things tmr will all fall into place haha:] Man...tired officially..:]

Monday, December 29, 2008

Season Transition

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3

Cool Passage. I just love Ecclesiastes, just like i'm in the shoes of the writer. "everything is meaningless". Haha, man, i really wonder what season could i possibly be in. Maybe i'm transitting from one season of my life to another.

A Season for Everything under the Sun...

Gosh. 2008 has flown by ever so quickly. It was as if yesterday i was in Kyushu, doing my exchange. Now i'm back to the grinding mill, trying to get out of university as fast as possible. Who can blame me? No matter how many people have said that "working life is difficult" or that they miss studying, i still am so darn tired of studying. I just thank God that things are slowly falling into place and that i have such a supportive family:) Recently, i have been thinking of everything i had experienced through during my stay in Japan, away from the protective environment i was brought up in. Thoughts- The guy who couldn't see me more than a sister. The painful agony of wasting precious time when i could have been thinking of someone esle, someone better. The cousin i never met. The granduncle i so respected and was unable to say a decent "goodbye" to. Life is so fleeting. One moment it's there, another moment it's just a memory one can only try to feebly resurrect by looking at photographs. In my heart, i do miss Japan, i do miss the slow-paced lifestyle. I could really do my best in a less stressful environment i guess. Nevertheless, this is reality- i'm back for good. Just need some re-adjustments to these thoughts.

Alot of things have been happening. The economy's gone bad. It's supposedly worsening. Retrenchment occurring rampantly. I'm graduating.
Excellent combination not to mention excellent timing. Sometimes i just get the feeling that i was born for these kind of 'combinations'. Nothing loser-like or anything, just alittle further from the pack. No idea what God has instore for me. Got back my results, that broke me quite badly. For all the freaking studying methods i have tried, and the effort dumped into burning midnight oil, it just all comes to nothing. Sometimes, i understand why some people just never wanted to go to university or how they felt when everytime they put in the effort, and were never rewarded back in return. Man, it sucks. The only glimmer of hope i've got left is that just maybe i could end up as a musician(if all esle fails) that is. So what happens to me now? Perhaps another consolation that i've been rewarded is that i get to graduate just a semester earlier than the rest. But i don't even know what to work as. Where to work. Where to start. :( After writing all these thoughts, i know that He watches and He understands every feeling i'm going through. That's comfort to me i guess:)

Relationships can sometimes be SO difficult. I realised at times, as my friend sam said, "it takes more courage to stay with people than to live alone". I found that so true. I guess maybe that's why i never really felt unhappy when i was alone, never really felt that i needed to be in the accompany of friends everytime. I just guess i was sick of dealing with people, along with myself as well. Living with a big family, sometimes it's hard to just deal with so many people. various personalities. hahaha i'm such a pathetic loner. But being a loner i guess, does have its strengths:) Being in Japan, i realised that alot of times, alot of people never really knew the 'real me'. That real, complicated, mixed up, strange at times fluctuating person. IN short, SIMPLY COMPLICATED. At times, i really wanted to be alone or not be with a group for fear that they would find out that real person in me. But what does it matter? Most people just use the 'public tatemae-face' in Japan,(well most of the time), so it wouldn't really matter. would it? I just thank God that they somehow accomodated me with my weird idiosyncrasies and nuisances. Sometimes, i just get so sick of myself hahaha i guess everyone does. A friend recently said that i have become "sadder" eversince coming back from Japan. I honestly don't think i've changed. Perhaps i've become alittle quieter, that's all. Don't want to get myself into any kind of trouble.

I just thank God that He has always been there.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Thankful to be able to breathe every morning..


3 months have passed since i have been in Kyushu. So many things have happened, all so fast. It's as if it is like scenes from a movie flashing through an unbelievable reality. Strange as it seems, so many experiences all encompassed by those 3 months can't express how i really and truly feel. Thankful to the Lord who has been blessing me with so many beautiful friends along my way. Am ever so thankful to be able to breathe every morning. I realised that life is just so uncertain, one moment someone you treasure is there, the next moment, he/she is gone, only a living memory remains...faded memories come clear only after a while. During this period of time, i lost 2 relatives. One was my beloved Granduncle whom i thank God for, someone i always respected during my youth, and someone i would continue to respect. I just thank God that before i left for Japan he had a chance to know that i had flown over here on exchange, and the fact that he was proud of me. The next was my beloved 13 year old cousin who died in a car accident. The saddest part was that my aunt and uncle actually watched him pass away.
I don't understand how such young lives go so easily. I don't understand how does death work at times. I only can trust the Almighty above with all the precious lives i've known..

In my heart, i'm just torn, scared at times, lonely, not knowing what's going to happen next. Sometimes i wished i could have been there to do something for my other cousins, to make them feel better. Being here in Japan, away from my family, sometimes i feel so useless, i can't help, i can't feel what they're feeling. I only can watch from afar. I just hope that things will be much better in the future..in the year 2008, i pray and hope that there will much better scenes to look forward to. Life is so precious...just like the song goes..we're just


"a wave in the ocean, a vapour in the wind.."


I think that we should really appreciate the lives we have around us, people who cherish us, it's good to remember them....Investing in lives are far more enriching than anything esle....in my opinion...it's hard but, it's what we have been built for:)


All praise to Christ for sustainence each morning till the end of the day~

Saturday, June 23, 2007

PLUNGE INTO DEEP WATERS BABY!!


PLUNGE!!
YO THERE PEEPS WHO ARE READING THIS!!! It's been quite a while since i'd blogged but i'm lovin' life as it is man!! Last night was a great night!!!WOO HOO!! We had a concert called "PLUNGE" and i was so thankful that everything went so well! CLAIRE AND ZHANGLEI! Thanks for your presence, i felt much confident when i was performing my song for the event! I was HONESTLY SO NERVOUS, because i have never performed in such a big crowd ahaha i think you guys could tell that i was really nervous ahahaha!! BUt i thank God that indeed He took care of the instrumentation and song!!! PETER AND RAIN THanks for your marvellous support! PETER!! YOU play the violin REALLY WELL!!!!! I have to say this, thanks for typing and printing out a violin score sheet for me bro! I really am grateful to have had you to accompany me as we played the tune! I think this is the 1st time for me that i'm not playing solo! Ahaha really thank God for you bro!! Gosh, i have SO many things to share about in this Blog! SO many things happened last night..
PerformanceS:

I was so nervous because i had never used a Head-microphone in my life, so i was shivering so badly ahaha(i don't think many people noticed it). BUt i really thank God for Xueyan, Kenneth and Zhengqin who were there to calm me down!! Xueyan thanks for having the tremendous GUTS to come up on stage to put the headset properly on my head!! ahaha honestly i was so worried, because i don't think you guys could hear the Acoustic Guitar from way back in the the auditorium man!! SO sorry, i should have turned up the Treble and turned down the Bass!!!:) I just thank God that He had sorted out my testimonial ahaha!! But i had never been this nervous in my life b4! But i thank God for Claire ahaha she as like saying, "JOy! You keep telling me not to panick, and here you are panicking!!!" ahahaha but i thank God that she was there to hold my hand before i went up! Geeszzz i was drowning from COLD-SWEAT, my palms were BIG TIME cLAmmy ahaha! I'm so happy that Zhanglei(Claire's roomate) came as well!! Zhanglei, i hope you also enjoyed yourself!! I think 3 of us really enjoyed the skit!! It was a SUPER FUNNY DRAMA!!!! ahahaa we kept LAUGHING and LAUGHING NON-STOP!! I think Kimberly, Winston, Mariann, Avriel, Mark and i can't remember the other Bro's name(sorry bro, forgive me!)....THe DRAMA CAST was SUPER FUNNY ahahaha and Mariann you were really cute!!! I loved your acting, it was SO REAL, reminded me of myself when i used to be SUPER BLUR AND SLEEPY when i was younger ahahahah!!!! I really hope to catch more of your dramas man!!! It was hilarious! i Just praise GOd for such a beautiful time during PLUNGE NIGHT!!!

SERMON TIME:
There was this AWESOMELY, COOL, FUNKY DUDE who came over to speak man! His name was PAstor GLENN!! His story was super NICE MAN!!! He was an EX-Drug Addict, Ex-Gangster, Ex-full time professional Musician!!! He soon realised that even after drinking, taking drugs and consuming other stuff, he was still very empty deep in his heart!
My Goodness and when he became a Christian, he moved to help such people in TEEN CHALLENGE(Drug rehabilitation center) super nice story man! He used to bring drugs into Singapore, and was supposed to be HUNG and to be sentenced to death(30years with 24 strokes of the cane) but SO MANY MIRACLES HAPPENED!! He is such a charismatic man!!! SO FUNKY!!!! My goodness, one day perhaps when i reach his age, i would like to go around to schools to give such forms of motivational talks about life, relationships and other stuff!! He was a HARD-CORE ELECTRIC guitarist, expelled from school(the typical problem-kiddo)! But i believe that GOd really changed him! Claire and i were liked so touched after his video, and Claire was super funny, she was like.."this guy went through SO MUCH man..." SEriously, after hearing his story, i was like WOA...i would never ever have His guts to smoke, do drugging...

BOY-GIRL RELATIONSHIPS:
I think the sweetest part of his story was his Love story!! He got to know his wife in High school and they were going steady with each other. Until, stuff had been happening in his life, where he LEFT his wife(Or then Girlfriend) for his Gangs, Music ROck BAnds, Drugs and other women..! It was so SAD! I heard that his wife is super SMART!! But somehow or rather, within the next 4 years, God brought His wife back to him(my goodness) it was so sweet!! In the video, they showed him riding on a bicycle, and his wife was waitng at the bus-stop smiling(SO SWEET!!) . The 3 of us were like "SO SWEET!!" I think it's BIG TIME romantic ahahaha. I guess it is so amazing when we let God to WRITE our own LOVE STORY! Because such beautiful things could and may happen if we trusted Him:) I mean i believe GOd really preserved this beautiful lady for Pastor Glenn and i believe that for those who are searching for GOd's person for you! Wait on this person, and don't rush!! Because it's better for this person to find you than to rush in!!
SPECIAL SHOUT-OUTS!!!!
BABES: GRACE i have been SO Blessed by You ne!! I will be waiting for the book u wanted to lend me! But i have been so encouraged by you in pushing on in life!! GO WOMAN POWER!! Joycelyn Jie! I really thank GOd for you because everytime i speak with you or talk with you, i always feel that i can be a better woman each time! Thank God for you!! Claire Jie! I thank God for you too because i think we have the same passions girl! Let's continue to work for HIM! Chisako!!DOn't worry about anything but Trust Him ne! i Will be by your side and encouraging you!!
HUNKS: SIR BRIAN! Thanks to your bold advice, sometimes guys can really help in telling girls how to talk with other guys ahahaha!! thanks bro, u have been a great help and encouragement to me! SiR WILLIAM!! you too man! I think that i have been very blessed having great friends who really take time to listen to each other's problems! Really love you GUYS!

I REALLY THANK GOD FOR MY LOVELY FRIENDS!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

A Season For New things..

AH!!! It is coming to the close of a month-June..Boy does time fly so fast. Oh well, today's blogging is really special cos i'm not at home blogging. I'm actually at my boss's workplace blogging, she is out and she gave me this great priviledge of using her computer anytime i want and for any occasion. COOL AIN"T IT?? I'm still working and honestly i'm really enjoying the work i'm doing. I really thank God for it because i personally feel that i am slowly growing from experiences through working life. Just to put it frankly, it can be really tiring and lonely because my best friends seem to be machinery(WHEN I AM SUPPOSEDLY A BIG TIME DINOSAUR at this). SEriously, can't stand machines for nuTS! My bro is always complaining that i am so "fossilized" and "prehistoric" at computer terms. I couldn't agree more(ahahaha). HEY everyone has different talents in different things man! Mine just happened to not be in computers! Here i am, sitting at a desk and typing(living IRONY people)...The Month of OCtober is coming very soon and i am SO EXCITED..i believe that i am challenged to go into unchartered territories in my life! Each day i feel is a new day, where new things can be learnt. Furthermore, these new things can be applied to other issues in the near future. Life is JUST STARTING TO GET ALITTLE MORE INTERESTING!!!!! Recently, i had been given the honour and pleasure of reading some material which has given me a new perspective to life, love, work, job, leisure..whatsoever...Many times i wonder, why God allows to meet so many different people in our lives..SOmetimes they remain in our lives, sometimes He just decides to make them disappear ever so slowly...I was looking at this picture known as the "CROSSROADS", where GOd allows people to meet when 2 roads decide to converge or cross each other,sometimes they converge into 1 huge lane, or they separate after that small junction...Tis very interesting how life works..i really thank Him for putting so many people in my life to mould me to be the person i am today. Every tear, Every challenge, Every hurt, Every laughter, Every Ounce of Anger has moulded me into the person i am today. I can't say that i'm good but at least that i have become BETTER than in the past.
I was reading a book on the "Precious Gem", whereby it talks about how God like takes us as jewels in His hand and He like "Cuts of the dirty and unwanted edges", such a buffing process or
"shining" process allows us to become ever so beautiful each time. However, it can come with much hurt, pain,sorrow, disagreements and other negative stuff. All in all, all this burning is worthwhile to be turned into more efficient and beautiful people i guess.....!
Oh well, i best get back to my work now! Tis a different season, where new things and skills can be acquired! Can't wait to learn more~!

SHOUT OUTS:
Babes and Hunks in Singapore: Joyce and BRian i can't wait to meet you guys after your respective Church CAMPS! PLease drop me a buzz on my mobile ya? Claire Jie will definitely meet up with you!! RAN STANDBY FOR I WILL MEET YOU AS WELL!!!

Close Buds in SIngapore: SHiHui, Sam, JOsh, Ben and Zhu..Can't wait to meet you guys before i make my way to Japan! Keep in Contact always people~!

Close Buds in Japan: Chisako and Ryosuke, i can't wait to meet both of you!!! Miss you guys so much! Will definitely pay you guys a visit respectively and see how things go in Kyushu!!:)
Akina and Ai as well when and if i make my way down to TOKYO!!!!!=)

Saturday, June 09, 2007

High On LIFE! Can't Take the HeaT?


Great work by rxnsilver from Deviant Art!
Can'T take the HEAT?!!Life PRESSING you DOWN? JUMP HIGHER!Back to civilisation once again! Haven't been blogging recently because i had been kinda bogged down by job stuff, family committments and other matters. Nevertheless, i sure do miss blogging my thoughts down. Kinda realised that blogging really helps me put the effort to get my thoughts straight! Let me share with you what has happened within this week. As i had stated before i had been working on my part-time job. It can be quite tedious and eye-straining. However, i really enjoy the job and am ready to pick up whatever skills which God brings to me along my way through life! I had been working on being more patient, more conscientious in everything i do, hopefully it could help me in my life in the near future or farther. Life to me at this moment is indeed getting alot more interesting. I just had this marvelous talk with my Dearest Mother and we had chatted for like nearly 2 hours. Gosh, she really has so much experience in so many matters concerning my personal worries. I guess it's because i get quite edged up about things very easily, so i thank God that i have such a steady mum! Mummy i really love you so much and i thank God for you:) To be honest, my father hasn't been feeling very well and i have been quite afraid about his health, some stuff has been happening within my family and i really can't help but ask the question, "WHy are such things happening?". My siblings are so adorable, they plan to give a surprise to my father tomorrow, with like a Teppanyaki treat which we plan to produce in our tiny kitchen. Father loves all these surprises because half the time my mother does it to him, and he does it to her! So us kids do such surprises like basically all so frequently!! I thank God for my family and life!Great Photo by Gruye from Deviant ARt Too!~ Go browse through this person's arts stufF!~
At this moment in my life, i have to say that i have various emotions. I am thinking of so many things and am preparing myself for the future to come. I really thank God for His guidance and mercy in my everyday walk. In my life, i always felt like it was a marathon. A long race which would never end. Furthermore, this particular stretch or period of my life, i feel as if i'm running in a tunnel. I can't wait to get out of the tunnel. The tunnel seems dark, lonely, i do not know how long will i be running in this tunnel. I hope to see a tiny light glowing brighter nearing the end of this tunnel. The tunnel seems cold. At times, i feel like i'm the only one running this Long Marathon. Each step i take, my pace weakens. My strides gets wider and my feet feel heavy. At times, i feel like giving up. But i feel some unknowing force pushing me from behind. I can't stop. I just keep running. Such a feeling is pretty much comprehendless. I just keep going. As i run, my breathing gets intune with the pace of my steps. Their rhythm starts to complement each other. This part of the marathon really brings forth the true essence of what i am experiencing now. I feel that God puts me in places where i feel really small and helpless. I am still learning so much. I have so much more to learn. However, i know that each step i take, He has taken those steps far ahead of me:)
Great picture by jasamijesamoblak from Deviant ARt(people go check this dude/dudette's photography out, Big TIme Funky Material!)
I met up with a few people! Claire Jie thanks for being there for me really appreciate it and i pray that God will continue to work with you on your Job! Other people, Brian and Joycelyn(YOU GUYS ROCK BIG TIME!!!), i really hope to meet up with you peeps next week so that we can discuss about more issues accrue to (YOU know WHAT)! Furthermore, i do hope to meet up with Shihui, Sammy BOy, Pete..(YOU GUYS ARE NOT FORGOTTEN!), give me sometime to plan on my exchange and i will definitely meet with you guys before i decide to ELOPE to Japan ahahahah!! I also can't wait to meet my 2 Close Japanese Girl friends in August, Ai and Chisako!!! I Hope to really spend more time with you ladies soon as well ne!!!! To many others whom i have not gotten to meet, we will meet up soon yes? Continue to press on in life and trust Him!!!Am absolutely NOTHING without Him!

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Can You Hear the Wedding Bells Ringing?!


The Wedding Bells are RINGING!!Sweet photograph by Exoart from Deviant Art!!
先週は本当に面白くて、楽しくて、珍しいと思いましたね。いろいろな事があったので、私の人生がより面白くなったと思うね。実は、先週に私は新しい仕事を働いたところでしたから、一寸大変だったけど、とても楽しかったね。新しいことを習えたので、もっと楽しいと思うよ。それに、私のBOSSも親切だし、熱心だし、偉い人だと思いましたから、仕事もっと楽しかったよ!仕事の中に、BOSSにコーピーして、ほかの事もしてあげます。しかし、面白かったよ!将来に日本で働くためにこれから練習したほうが好いと思うよ!うん:)もしシンガポールの会社で働くために今習ったSKILLSもっと役に立つと思いましたね。ゆっくり習って、練習したほうが好いよ。

嬉しい事:教会に知り合った友達が結婚したので、本当に嬉しくなったね!実は、昨晩は私は教会の友達の結婚式に出席したので、とても嬉しくて、楽しくて、もっとTOUCHINGだと思いました。この二人が熱心だし、偉いし、それに優しい人だと思いましたね!女性が同じ高校からきました。私は友達の結婚式で二人にピアノを弾いてあげまたので、もっと可笑しかったね!教会の好い友達と一生にギターとDRUMSとピアノとBASSを弾いたので、とても楽しかった。私たちが歌を弾きながら、何時も笑っていたの!本当にTOUCHINGね!友達が教会に入ると、私が泣きたかったね!珍しかったね!

Wow! It has been like FOREVER since i'd blogged. Just to share with you guys about what has been going in my life, one word: BEAUTIFUL:) I have been experiencing quite alot of interesting and unforgettable moments for the past few days. Infact, why not let me just allow you to browse through this past week of my life haha! Oh well, to be truthful, i just started on my part-time work last week. Boy, am i worn out. Actually, the work is pleasantly enjoyable, but i guessed that i have never worked so long hours before. So i just need to get use to the timing and all(I am just pure L.A.Z.Y). heehee. Nevertheless, i believe that God has been very gracious in giving me such an interesting job to which i can put different skills to the test. I am learning alot about patience, meekness, humility, and learning how to deal with being restless. I realised that i can be a REALLY restless person when it comes to doing stuff i dislike to do. I must say that He knows what's best for me:) I will give you a brief preview of what i actually do. My best friend has become my Photo-copying machine. I love it. It loves me too. Infact, it just might as well become my husband. Seriously, he is really satisfied if i can be able to FEED him with A4 size papers wahahah! But he doesn't fight with me, he just photocopies i feel ahaha:) Oh and i have a son, he is a STAPLER!! His Bulleting is really good honestly(Do i sound disillusioned?) hehehe:) I believe God has something in store for me in the future. Prolly something to do with my future career prospects and that is why i am learning all this photocopying. I am certainly enjoying, even though it gets abit tedious and mundane after awhile. He prolly has a greater plan for me in the future! Geez, i really adore my Professor. God-willing i will become as intelligent as her in the near future ahaha! She has this really confident, female air to everything she does and she never fails to inspire me to get things done in a very smooth and cool manner:) I salute her for that ahaha!

Memorable moments by ToneofsplinteredBone from Deviantart(go check this person's work out!) Now, other HAPPENING things in my life! Yesterday, i had attended a beautiful wedding. This couple had happened to be my youth camp leaders when i was like i think 13 years old. They actually GOT MARRIED!!! How SWEET!!!! I was given the honour and priviledge to play the Second Piano(Synthesizer) for their opening and recessional hymnody:) The opening song was written and composed by the Bride's SIster and she actually sang the song(Seriously professional stuff, i think she could be able to cut a Wedding album!). It was a good time for me to pay attention to how weddings are conducted in a church setting. It can honestly be quite stressful especially when it comes to the reciting of the marriage vows and the exchange of wedding rings. AHAHA it was quite hilarious during the rehearsals where i saw all the BLOOPERS and HICCUPS which happened before the REAL occasion!! It was BIG TIME STANDuP COMEDY for me, but thank God that yesterday all ran smoothly and people really enjoyed themselves!:) As i was looking at the marriage, i guess that many of us are also wondering when would it be our turn. Ladies who are in WAITING, please wait for the MEN to pUrsue you! I had been reading up on such material to further enhance my knowledge about life and love matters! Benefiticial and fruit the soul i must say;) As i was playing the piano, i couldn't help but think how my wedding would be like if i were to be married!! Ahaha actually i was talking to it with my parents, they were saying that since that we are all mixed, we would have an indian interpreter and a chinese interpeter during the wedding. Furthermore, there will be Western-continental cuisine, Indian(north and south) and Chinese cuisine and Japanese cuisine for my Japanese friends during the wedding dinner as well!! God-willing if i were to be married, i think i would personally write a song for my future One and perform it with a Band on that day!!! I knew a couple whereby the Bride gave her Husband a Guitar during the wedding ceremony and she said this, "I hope that this will not replace me!!!".--> SO SWEET!!!! The couple also happened to be the Bridegroom being Indian and the Bride being Chinese!!! GOSH so many mix marriages are happening! It was the same for my friends yesterday actually! The Guy's family were mainly Chinese and for the girl's side, alot who were Eurasians, because she has some portuguese blood mixed with chinese as well(heard about it!!). SO it is SUPER funky!
Great picture by Andross01 from Deviant Art(Parental Advisory: Extreme Talent i tell you!)
I think attending friends' weddings are really memorable because you get to watch them grow up with you since the time you got to know them! I just continue to pray that God will bless them with many years of ANNIVERSARIES!!!

P.S For people out there, wait for your RIGHT ONE!!!!!!:)